We didn't talk about it after the kiss.
Something changed between Sana and me, but we managed to try to maintain whatever semblance of normalcy we could. The intimacy grew, but with limits. Not in terms of kissing or anything like that. Instead, there was this heightened sense of responsibility and being more attuned to one another. We were sort of together, but not really together-together.
When we first arrived, we enrolled in a nearby dance studio to broaden our social circle. Plus, dancing is something we've both discovered we enjoy since high school. Now that we have more time to ourselves since moving to Korea, we thought it would be ideal to finally do something we were passionate about.
However, things didn't go as smoothly as expected.
Since my work schedule is not fixed because it depends on a client’s availability, I don’t always get to dance class at the same time as Sana.
One day, a seemingly upset Sana called me.
"Momoring? Are you busy right now?”
She understands how important it is for me not to be bothered when I am with a client. So the fact that she called during a time when I'm usually preoccupied made me nervous. “The client canceled our session. I'm at home, and I just changed into a different outfit for a quick run. What’s wrong? Where are you?”
“I’m at the dance studio,” she said in a calm but agitated voice. “Could you drop by, please?”
I was gone in an instant. Because I was already dressed for a run, I ran to the studio which was only a few blocks away. By the time I arrived, a light sweat had formed on my brow.
Because of the floor-to-ceiling glass wall, I could see what was going on inside before I opened the door. There were three lanky teenage boys and two what appeared to be college frat boys circling Sana.
Subsequently, I found out that Sana usually gets there an hour earlier before the instructor arrives for some time alone at the studio. Unfortunately, word got out quickly to some of these guys that were also enrolled in the dance class. They decided to arrive at the same time as her so that they could hit on her.
When I saw Sana’s scared expression as they got closer, white-hot anger boiled within.
-
When Momo saw Sana being cornered helplessly, something inside her snapped.
Momo walked the length of the dance studio in a few strides to where the guys were gathered, breaking their barricade. When Sana saw Momo emerge from the human fence, her face lit up with relief, but quickly became confused when Momo walked past her and went straight to the audio jack. She plugged in her phone and began walking back to Sana.
Momo is now the center of attention for everyone. She took off her black hoodie, revealing underneath that she was wearing a pink sports bra. Her tight-fitting black yoga pants accentuated her toned legs.
“Sorry I’m late, babe,” Momo said to Sana, much to the other boys’ confusion. Momo took two more steps closer, placed her hand on the other girl's waist, and pulled, to conceal the apparent surprise on Sana's face.
“Do you trust me, Minatozaki?” Momo said softly while looking deep into Sana’s eyes.
“I do, Hirai.” Sana replied.
With a smirk on her face, Momo leaned to Sana’s ear and said, “Then let’s get rid of these bozos. Make love with me on the dance floor.”
[Intro to Señorita by Shawn Mendez & Camila Cabelo played]
Momo let go of Sana's waist and circled the other lady, whose lips were twitching with the beginnings of a smile.
I love it when you call me Señorita
I wish I could pretend I didn't need you
But every touch is ooh-la-la-la
It's true la-la-la
Ooh, I should be running
Ooh, you keep me coming
For you
Other dance students began to arrive, only to be captivated by the couple in the center.
-
Momo's delicate touches on my waist, hands, arms, and neck were almost enough to short-circuit my brain.
She spun me around and clung to me tightly as if she were the axis around which my world revolved. Her eyes bore into mine, much like gravity pulling me close — keeping me in place.
Sapphire moonlight
We danced for hours in the sand
Tequila Sunrise
Her body fit right in my hands, la-la-la
It felt like ooh-la-la-la
I held on to her, our intake of breaths creating symphony; our exhales the orchestra.
You say, "We're just friends."
But friends don't know the way you taste-la-la-la
'Cause you know it's been a long time comin'
Don't you let me fall, oh
Momo abruptly turned me around, prompting me to face the full-length studio mirror with my back to her.
She placed a hand on my shoulder, applying light pressure, which I took as a command to bend my knees a little lower; then the other hand touched my hip with a light pull, which I took as an invitation to stand slowly, seductively grazing the lower part of her abdomen.
We held each other's gaze in the mirror. Our chests heaved faster; our sweat glistened all over.
I took another turn and found myself facing her again, this time much closer. Our bodies were pressed up against each other. Momo looked deep into my eyes as the music played and our bodies swayed, then it was her turn to dip lower, not breaking eye contact.
Her hand traced the length of my abs, passing through the middle of my chest, as she went down. She then rose again slowly and lightly clasped her hand around my neck. She pushed my chin upward using her thumb, causing me to tilt my head toward the ceiling and close my eyes momentarily. While our hips moved in rhythm, I took in all the pleasurable sensations. I lowered my head back again to look at my dance partner, intoxicated.
Ooh, when your lips undress me
Hooked on your tongue
Ooh, love, your kiss is deadly
Don't stop
Coincidentally, that’s precisely when the music stopped — followed by my heart.
Because, after the music stopped, Momo snaked her hand around my waist, and the other settled on the back of my neck.
In the middle of a room full of spellbound people, she tilted her head, and with slightly parted lips — kissed mine.
-
The spell on the small crowd was lifted when the two girls broke off their kiss.
A collective sigh ensued, followed by a smattering of applause. They were generally greeted by awestruck dance classmates, except for the group of boys who had earlier surrounded Sana, sulking in a corner.
Momo excused themselves, saying that they had somewhere else to be at, as she dragged a giggling Sana along with her.
When they reached the sidewalk outside of the dance studio, both girls burst into fits of laughter. They held onto each other, trying real hard not to collapse on the cold pavement. Once their amusement subsided, Sana moved to embrace the other girl.
“Thank you for turning up. Thank you for saving me.”
Momo held her tighter as she felt the girl in her arms shiver with the memory as she spoke. “I will never let anything happen to you, Minatozaki. You know that.”
She didn’t let go. Momo waited until it was Sana who initially pulled back with tears glistening in her eyes. Momo held her cheeks and wiped the tears with her thumb. She kissed Sana on the forehead, then held her hand as they walked in the direction going to Momo’s apartment building.
-
Trigger warning: sexual assault
Momo knew the story.
She also knew that Sana buried the memories deep within her subconscious as a form of defense mechanism. Momo was aware that such behavior is unhealthy, but every time she suggests therapy to Sana, the other girl simply shrugs it off. She can't be her therapist because they've known each other for a long time, and she can't help much either. For someone receiving therapy to make any progress, they must be aware of the issues that need to be addressed and willing to go through the process.
It happened during college when Momo and Mina were already dating. Mr. Minatozaki decided it was time to find a suitable husband for Sana. The grand plan was this: Mina would inherit the company, while Sana would be married off to some royal family.
Sana, the fighter that she is, did everything she could to defy her father while keeping Mina in the dark to protect her sister's peace of mind. But Momo knew. They helped each other pull pranks on potential dates set by her father or make excuses if they couldn't avoid meeting.
It was funny at first until suddenly, it was not.
Mr. Minatozaki had enough of the little schemes Sana kept pulling off. So, unbeknownst to his daughter, he has set her up with a candidate of his choice and planned a meet-up where Sana won’t be able to easily dodge.
The chosen individual was well-known for his ruthless approach to business and personal life. He was a much older man than Sana, but with his own empire that Mr. Minatozaki found highly beneficial and desirable. Despite rumors that he was short-tempered and allegedly hit women, Mr. Minatozaki went ahead with the negotiation, reasoning that it was probably what she needed — a man who could control and tame his daughter.
One cold afternoon, Sana was tasked by her father to fetch some ‘important documents’. He gave the location of a home office. Sana complied without hesitation or suspicion on her part.
When Sana arrived at the location, she was ushered inside a huge house. When she entered the door she was directed to, a chisel-faced man got up from his chair behind an oak wood desk.
Sana greeted him with a bow and explained that she had come to pick up some documents as directed by her father.
A half-smile spread across the man's face as he approached Sana. He had cold eyes with a malevolent glint in them. He came to a halt a few steps away, his half-smile still on his face, and smugly looked at Sana from head to foot.
Sana stood there, her fear growing from within.
The man circled her, came to a dangerously close stop right behind Sana, and said, "It's always been nice doing business with your father."
“So far, I'm pleased with what I'm seeing. But, before we finalize the deal, would you mind providing me with some free business advice? ” he continued.
Sana was becoming increasingly uneasy, but she still responded, "I'm not sure if what I know would suffice, sir."
The man laughed mirthlessly, sending shivers down Sana’s spine.
“It's really quite simple, miss. Would you say that if I were to invest in a brand new car, it is only practical if I ride it a few times first for a test drive? ”
Sana froze in fear. The older man, without waiting for Sana’s response, pulled her from behind and trailed his hand from the younger girl’s waist going upward.
When Sana realized what was going on, she stopped his hands from moving any further and quickly turned to face him, landing a swift slap on his face, catching him off guard.
Sana turned to flee, but a hand grabbed her hair and threw her to the ground. Her assailant was removing his belt when Sana rushed up, removed both of her black stiletto heels, and threw the first one in the man's face.
While he was dodging, Sana swung the other shoe, the pointed heel aimed squarely at the creep's groin. The pervert screamed in agony as he doubled over in pain. His office door flew open, and his assistant dashed over to see what all the fuss was about.
Sana ran out of the house, barefoot and in tears.
Night arrived, bringing Sana with it, right in front of Momo's house. Momo knew there was something wrong the moment she opened the door. She ushered the disheveled girl into her room.
It took a while to get a word out of Sana. Momo was panicking and in tears not knowing what to do, so she made a move to call Mina. Sana stopped her from doing so, eerily stopping her crying as well. As if the girl managed to get an ounce of strength when she heard her sister’s name, not wanting to drag her into the hellhole she was in to protect her sibling.
After a few more minutes of silence and Momo hugging and comforting Sana, she finally shared with Momo.
Sana barely got out of the man’s home office. She fought to prevent further sexual assault with all her might, but she did not get out unharmed.
She started sobbing again uncontrollably. Momo held on to her and waited patiently, even though her eyes were on the verge of closing due to her own crying.
By the time Sana finished, Momo was livid with rage.
Sana pleaded with her not to tell Mina. She saw no point in doing so because Mina would be powerless to intervene. Sana reasoned that it would only burden her sister, which would be a source of additional pain for herself. Momo tried to argue back, but she had to accept defeat. She also saw no benefit in informing Mina, only more damage.
Momo made her best friend promise that they would do everything possible to get justice for the incident, and Sana agreed. Unfortunately, the situation deteriorated when they attempted to file legal charges when Sana's father intervened.
That shattered Sana even more.
For the longest time, Momo saw Sana as this unbreakable force she always looked up to. She yearned for a chance to repay Sana for all the times she had served as her protector. She wanted to feel needed. She wanted to feel like she deserved to be called Sana’s friend.
But not like this. Never in a million years did Momo wish for anything like this.
Most regrettably still, she was presented with a situation wherein she couldn’t do anything in her power to make things any better. Momo felt even more ashamed of herself. She should have known better, but it had become a nagging feeling inside her that had grown stronger. The sense of being unworthy of Sana's friendship and the purity of her heart.
When the time came for Mr. Minatozaki to learn that Mina was dating a girl, and Mina defied her father in the most blatant way possible, it was expected that he would retaliate. Consequently, when Sana and Momo later learned about the phone conversation Mr. Minatozaki had about hiring someone to expose Mina to a real man, they recognized the legitimacy of the dangers it posed.
The urgency Sana felt in saving her sister resulted in a haphazard execution of her plan, where Mina was supposed to think Momo cheated on her with another girl in Vegas. They got a random girl from around the casino and brought her to their hotel room. It worked as they expected when Mina saw Momo on top of the girl.
What they did not know was, Mina thought the girl was her sister Sana.
The plan was for it to be the typical cheating scenario; you cry about it, you drink, you party to forget, and you vent to your older sister if you have one.
But since Mina thought it was between the love of her life and her older sister, it was the type of damage no one was ready for.
When Mina left, she never looked back. Much to Sana’s heartbreak, she bitterly wondered how could her beloved sister walk away from her and endure not talking to her for almost half a decade.
I haven’t and would never move on from my little sister, but how could she? Was it that easy for her to let go of me?
-
Momo stopped on the way home to get pizza and cheesecake. Both are Sana's comfort food, and she wanted the girl to feel better after the incident at the dance studio.
As she expected, Sana’s eyes became brighter and her steps a bit lighter. Once they got nearer the apartment, Momo had to remind Sana twice to quit skipping and walk properly because she was carrying the cheesecake, and it might get ruined.
Of course, it was useless. The extra twirling and pirouette were the final straw for the poor cheesecake, which had devolved into a shapeless mess of tasty ruins.
They ate the whole box of pizza while Sana attacked a scoop of the ruined dessert. All of this while drinking soju. How and why none of them made any trips to the bathroom yet is way beyond her comprehension.
On their first bottle of soju, they changed their clothes into some vintage style fashion, donning sunglasses and hats. They took several photos in various poses, hanging out like they usually did since middle school.
The second bottle was gone quicker. The vintage dress became a bit uncomfortable, so they changed into oversized t-shirts and some baggy pants. They danced over popular songs and laughed their hearts out.
They were wasted and tired by the third bottle. Between the two of them, Sana is far more adept at dealing with alcohol. Momo's words had become somewhat incomprehensible, which Sana found highly amusing.
“Let’s get you ready for bed now, Momoring.”
Sana didn't bother deciphering the muffled response. She was clinging to Momo's waist, preventing the other girl from falling. Momo put her arms around the other girl and rested her head on Sana’s shoulder.
They remained that way for what seemed like an eternity to Sana. Her heart began to beat a little faster; the embrace seemed warmer; Momo's scent seemed sweeter.
Momo was mumbling something with her eyes closed. She began swaying lazily from side to side, dragging Sana with her.
They barely moved outside the invisible circle, but Momo and Sana started dancing without music. Sana wondered how such a small and intimate space can become a journey to another world.
I’m certain my feet are touching solid ground, so how come it feels like I’m falling?
Sana closed her eyes as they continued to sway in their musicless waltz. Momo suddenly stopped and brought one hand to Sana’s face, her eyes still closed.
“I love you—” Momo started.
Sana's heart began to race wildly —
“—Mina.” Momo finished.
Sana’s heart stopped right before it shattered.
There were no lingering syllables to complete Minatozaki, which was often used by Momo to refer to her.
It didn't cut off;
It didn't fade away;
It was meant to end in two syllables, plain and clear. Sana heard the finality in that one word: Mina.
Sana felt Momo’s knees buckle as sleep took over the girl. She caught Momo before she hit the ground.
Funny. Sana thought bitterly.
I keep breaking your fall so you wouldn’t hit the ground. Yet when I fell for you, there was no ground to hit — but why do I still break?
Can't wait for chapter 5 ❤️
ReplyDeleteThank you, reader. 🤗💖
Deleteackkkk sana-ssi hope you're ok😩
ReplyDeleteSana. 🥺
DeleteThat hurts 😞
ReplyDeleteI hope Sana will be happy
ReplyDelete